August 2016 – Couple of Boots

August 15th, 2016

Day 137: Nairobi

We boarded the plane to Nairobi just after midnight, and got as much sleep as we possible could on the red-eye flight. However, it was only a 4hr flight, and a one-hour time zone change, so when we arrived at 6AM, we were exhausted and ready to crash at our hotel. Surprisingly, Immigration at the Nairobi Airport was lightning fast, and we were out of the airport so quickly we didn’t even have time to find a bathroom!

Or Kenyan safari operator had arranged for an airport pick-up for us. Since we had originally budgeted an extra hour for picking up a checked bag and passport control, we weren’t concerned when we didn’t immediately see a driver with our name. Since we had some extra time to kill, we decided to find an ATM to get some local currency and buy a SIM card. When we got to the ATM, however, two guys were standing outside the vestibule. “It’s broken,” they said, “But there’s another one just around the corner – I’ll show you!” We probably shouldn’t have, but we followed this stranger on a 10min walk outside the airport to an underground parking lot with several ATMs. After Igor got some Kenyan Shillings, our guide chose to inform us that we owed him money for escorting him to the ATM! Nice, try buddy – we’re not giving you a 100 KS note (USD $10). Luckily Igor had a USD $1 bill on him, and he told the guy to take it or leave it. When we walked past the original “broken” ATM again, no one was guarding it saying it was broken anymore. SCAM.

Boarding our midnight flight to Nairobi, Kenya

As Igor was buying his SIM card, Lindsay kept an eye out for our driver, and soon spotted him. Our driver was fast-talking and funny! Frustrated with all the airport traffic, he cut the line to get out of the parking area, only to be pulled over by a female officer carrying an AK-47. He argued with her in Swahili, apparently trying to excuse his behavior with a lie that he was transferring us to a different airport, and we were going to miss our flight. “I don’t care,” she said, and made him get out of the car and show his driving documents. She called over her superior officer, who took over. After some more words in Swahili *and passing the guy some bills* he waved us along. “How much did you have to pay him?” Igor asked. “Eh, 10 dollars. This is Africa.”

Although it wasn’t specified on our itinerary, our driver informed us that we had two activities in Nairobi included in our safari package! We were thrilled to hear it, as we were planning to hire a taxi in the afternoon to try and do some sight-seeing anyways. As it was barely 7AM, he took us to our hotel so we could check-in and freshen up, before heading out at 9AM to visit the Sheldrick Elephant Orphanage for their morning feeding. We arrived about 40min before opening, and good thing! By the time the doors opened, there was a crowd of about 200 people behind us! We all gathered around a roped-off clearing and waited patiently for the baby elephants to appear.

An early morning visit to the Elephant Orphanage

A group of school kids eagerly line-up to watch the baby elephants get fed

The babies were *unbelievably* adorable! They were separated into age groups – the first bunch to come tottering out of the forest were the youngest – aged 4 months to 1 year. As each one rushed into the clearing, a keeper stuffed his/her mouth with a giant bottle of human baby formula, which they guzzled enthusiastically. As the babies were drinking, one of the keepers took up a microphone and introduced each elephant, stating their names, age, when they were rescued, and the circumstances which led them to be orphaned (mostly poaching and human encroachment by falling down water wells). Since baby elephants rely on their mother’s milk for the first two years of their lives, orphaned elephants will die if left in the wild. The David Sheldrick Wildlife Trust is one of the most successful programs in Africa that rescues, hand-rears, and then reintroduces the orphaned elephants into the wild. After the first set of elephants were fed, they were led back into the forest, and two more groups (aged 1-3 years) came out for their breakfast – SO CUTE!

Here come the ellies! We saw 24 babies, ranging from 4 months to 3 years old

Several keepers dispense milk bottles to the hungry calves (filled with human formula milk, as “milking” female elephants isn’t really possible!)

The older ellies can feed themselves! Look – someone is starting to grow her tusks!

After drinking their milk, the babies finish breakfast by eating their greens!

As one of the keepers introduces each elephant, the babies walk around, getting love from the crowd!

After the Elephant Orphanage, our driver planned to take us to another popular animal attraction, but first he made a detour to a crafts market, as he said the majority of the elephant crowd was heading in the same direction. Normally we are able to resist buying souvenirs, as we need to travel light…but we really liked the African stuff! We broke down and got a set of wooden spoons – after all, we are planning to ship home some of our gear before we head to China anyways, may as well send home a few mementos as well.

Beautiful wood carvings and dishware at the crafts market

Artsy metal curios – wish we could bring home more souvenirs!

After giving half an hour for the crowds to clear, we headed over to the Giraffe Center – the public tourist attraction which is part of the exclusive Giraffe Manor property. The Manor is an insanely expensive boutique hotel (USD $550pp) where giraffes roam freely around the property and will stick their heads into the open windows of the Manor, especially during breakfast! We were obviously priced out of *that* experience, but we got to hand feed those same giraffes at the next-door Giraffe Center public feeding platform (entrance fee is only USD $1).

Waiting in the “ladies line” at the Giraffe Center – the genders were separated for a security pat-down as we entered the property (a lot of that in Kenya)

Igor feeding pellets to a hungry giraffe!

Lindsay takes a turn with the slimy black tongue!

Who’s a hungry giraffe? You’re a hungry giraffe!

After the giraffe feeding, we headed back to the hotel – we were still running on only 4 hours of sleep and we were ready to PASS OUT. We had a pretty shitty room at the La Maison Royal hotel (first floor, with a window facing into the hotel lobby), but we were so tired we slept through the noise anyways. When we asked to switch to a different room, we were told they were completely booked, but they would make sure we got a nicer room on our second stay before we flew out of Nairobi. Satisfied with their promise, we headed up to their rooftop restaurant for dinner, where they had a large Indian selection and a real tandoori oven on the outside deck! Not bad.

A surprisingly tasty Indian food dinner at the hotel’s rooftop restaurant, along with a glass of Frontera!

August 14th, 2016

Day 136: Itaga Luxury Private Game Lodge – Day 2 & Leaving South Africa

We got up early on our last day in South Africa to see the Mabalingwe lions. We were hoping for the best – after all, we enjoyed the Otjitotongwe Cheetah Farm in Namibia, where they had to keep their “wild” cats in a 200+ acre enclosure. If that was what we expected, we were sorely disappointed with the set-up at Mabalingwe. Both the lions and two Spotted Hyenas were kept in tiny fenced-in enclosures – the one for the lions was probably 5 acres, while the one for the hyenas was about half the size. Honestly, we didn’t come all the way to Africa to visit a zoo – we came to see animals in the WILD! Or at least free-roaming.

The guides at Itaga made a point of leaving the resort at 6:45AM in order to be the first arrivals at the lion feeding. We had about 10min to view the lions and hyenas on our own before a dozen safari vehicles showed up, each brimming with tourists. Mabalingwe only feeds the animals twice per week, and given that it was a Sunday and we were only 2hrs from Johannesburg, this was clearly the most heavily booked tour. By the end, we were seriously regretting our decision to join the tour – it was a low note to end our amazing experiences in the wilds of southern Africa.

Huge safari vehicles packed with tourists arrive to see the caged predators: Spotted Hyenas and lions

So bummed that our first hyena sighting was in a cage. These guys are MASSIVE – the size of a Great Dane! – can’t wait to see them in the wild in Tanzania!

A mighty, majestic lion…behind bars

Feeding the lions: a truck drives into the lion cage, where the guy in the passenger seat loops a chain around a pole which drags two chunks of meat off the tailgate as the truck drives off

Since the meat is chained to the pole, the lion is forced to eat his meal in front of the viewing platform, for the amusement of the hundreds of tourists who are snapping pictures.

On the drive back to the resort, we spot free-roaming antelope (with barely a predator to worry about!) in the Mabalingwe Reserve: Tsessebe and Nyala

A small herd of hippos in the Mabalingwe hippo pool

Grysbok – an adorable, teeny antelope

Our flight to Nairobi, Kenya wasn’t scheduled to leave until midnight that night, so we were in no hurry to get to Johannesburg (especially after all the crime-filled horror stories we heard about car-jackings and police bribes). After breakfast we waited until the last possible moment to check-out, then we asked if we could camp out at the pool and use their Wifi for another hour or so. Finally, we forced ourselves to leave around 1PM – still far earlier than we need to return the rental car and get to the airport.

When we packed our bags, we realized our big backpack (with all our clothes, shoes, medication, toiletries and mosquito nets) had gotten a rip near the bottom, and had split open! We tried to duct-tape it shut, but the tear was too large. We considered looking for a camping store in Johannesburg or Pretoria, but didn’t want to risk getting burgled on our last day in the country. Instead, we decided to wrap the backpack at the airport for USD $7. Good news was the wrapping was very thorough – nothing would fall out with all that cellophane! Bad news was there was no way to wrap the bag without losing access to the shoulder straps, so we have to carry around our 17kg bag like a baby around the airport. We quickly snished our remaining errands (exchanging money, mailing postcards and finding a pharmacy) before checking in to our Air Kenya flight.

We got our tickets from the electronic kiosk, then walked over to the baggage drop counter at 5PM. When we told the attendant we were booked for the midnight flight to Nairobi, she looked us up and down and said, “We’re not checking in that flight yet. Come back three hours before departure.” I’m sorry, what? You mean, we have to hang around the airport before security for another 4 HOURS?!? But we have Executive Lounge Passes!!!! She said there was nothing she could do – she couldn’t hold our bags for us and she couldn’t check them in early. “Is the bag too big for carry on?” We asked. She looked it over, “Em, no, I don’t think so. But it’s wrapped – they won’t let you through security like that.”

That’s what *you* think. We quickly ducked into a hallway and unraveled our bag, then manually re-wrapped the cellophane around just the bottom half of the bag, so the top was still accessible. Ghetto? Yes. Flight-ready? You bet! We got into the security line – one agent tried get Lindsay to put the backpack in their carry-on size checker but when she threatened to cry, a second agent waved us through. After another hour at Immigration we were finally in the Executive Lounge, where we raised a glass (actually several) to our successful navigation and escape from the Johannesburg Airport. Next stop: EAST AFRICA.

Wrapping (then -wrapping) our ripped bag before our international flight to Kenya

August 13th, 2016

Day 135: Itaga Luxury Private Game Lodge – Day 1

After another delicious breakfast, we took our leave of the Leshiba Wilderness Lodge, and headed for our final stop in South Africa: the Itaga Luxury Private Game Lodge in the Mabalingwe Nature Reserve. Like Leshiba, it is an artificial game park, where all the animals have been “imported” as a tourist attraction.

There was a stark contrast between the two, however. While Leshiba purchased and fed their rhinos, the reserve didn’t *feel* fabricated – probably because they weren’t trying to do too much. Leshiba had one shtick – a bunch of rhinos, and that was enough. Mabalingwe, on the other hand, touted itself as a “Big 5” reserve. It was a huge, corporate-owned property with multiple lodges in addition to private residences. And while they had to have lions on the reserve in order to call themselves “Big 5”, we discovered that the lions were kept in a fenced off enclosure, as the residents want to make sure it is safe for their kiddies to play in their backyard pools. Bizarre. Against our better judgement, we booked the tour to see the lions the next morning.

In the meantime, we had an evening drive scheduled for our first day at Itaga, led by Robert, our first (and only!) Caucasian safari guide. Why am I pointing this out, you may ask? Well, it didn’t really register with us that Robert and all of his colleagues were white, while all of our other guides up until now have been black. But when we were chatting with him about his career as a guide, he mentioned that he grew up in his grandfather’s private lodge in Kruger National Park, and that was where he learned everything he knows about tracking. When we asked why he didn’t want to work as a guide in Kruger, he said he used to until he was fired. “Why?” we asked. “Because of the color of my skin – they only want black guides.”

Now, I’m not going to say, “Poor Robert, that’s reverse racism!” This guy grew up with incredible privilege and probably has many more opportunities for (better paying) jobs than the guys that are now “stealing” his job at the national parks. But we did notice that *every single guide* at Mabalingwe was white. Not saying it’s better or worse, just noticing the difference between a private game reserve vs. the national parks.

Armed with the gate code, we say farewell to Leshiba and brave the trecherous 4×4 road down the mountain

The waterhole just outside the Itaga restaurant attracts many antelope, including these beautiful Nyala

There’s just something about Coca-Cola – whenever Igor tried to enjoy a can of happiness, some cute little animal tried to sneak a sip! Itaga has a tame squirrel that was hand-reared on the premises, and he quickly made friends with Igor

While Igor was playing with the wildlife, Lindsay discovered the hotel had A PUPPY! Do we really have to go on a safari? I can totally just stay here and play with the puppy.

The elusive Tsessebe, Africa’s fastest antelope, and a herd of wildebeest

This silly giraffe was eating too fast and got a branch stuck on his face! So cute.

A private house within the Mabalingue Reserve – a view of White Rhinos as you and your guests enjoy sundowner drinks on your patio. How the other half lives in South Africa

Our sundowner drinks, next to an empty waterhole. We be poor.

Sitting by the fire for an hour and a half waiting for dinner to be announced. Finally, the waitress comes over and says, “You know you can eat anytime you like, right? You’re not waiting for anyone, are you?” Thanks for the tip – we would have been sitting there all night! Gimme food!

Our last hotel room in South Africa – a luxurious end to a fantastic stay!

Protected: August 12th, 2016

August 11th, 2016

Day 133: Leshiba Wilderness Lodge – Day 1

Unlike our poor neighbors who were no doubt woken up by our constant nose-blowing and loogie-hacking, we slept wonderfully! Feeling much better (but still not 100%), we got up and made some breakfast sandwiches and fried up our leftover veggies for a perfectly portioned and healthy breakfast. Even if we did get sick, Botswana has been great and we are so sad to be leaving. Even though we like South Africa too, we are so bummed that the journey is coming to an end.

Avocado breakfast sandwiches and instant coffee – yum!

We get our passports stamped at the Botswana border and drive across the dry Limpopo riverbed and into South Africa. We experience a bit of shadiness as the South African police officer at the vehicle checkpoint is being overly thorough in his inspection: popping the hood of the Britz rental car to check the engine, making us unpack our backpacks and asking us how many computers we had with us (Igor insisted that they are tablets, not laptops), and where exactly we were driving to next. Maybe this is legit, but we’ve heard plenty of stories about corrupt South African cops at this point, so we fibbed a bit and said we were driving straight to the airport to return the car. As we drove away, we notice that the powerlines are down lying on the side of the road. We heard rumors that some of the poor villagers would sometimes cut down telephone poles for firewood – perhaps this was the handy work of the cash-strapped locals?

Back in South Africa, where everything is just a little shady.

It was another LONG drive to our next lodge, but like Limpopo, we knew the place had to be spectacular if guests are willing to put up with the steep 15KM mountain road. In fact, the road is so tough, that many visitors leave their cars at the bottom of the mountain and arrange a 4×4 transfer. We, however, were feeling mighty confident in our 2016 Toyota Fortuner, so we powered to the top! Once we reached the top, we discovered there was one vital piece of information missing from our itinerary: the gate was locked to deter poachers from entering the property, and we didn’t have the code for the lock.

We still had our old South African SIM card from the first week of our trip in our bags, so we started digging it out to see if we had any minutes left (or any reception!) – luckily for us, the staff at Leshiba had received a frantic call from Russell that morning alerting them that we were coming, sans code and sans cellphone, so they were driving down to the gate periodically throughout the day to see if we had arrived. We were only waiting about 10min before our hosts arrived to let us in.

It was a long drive up the mountain, via a 4×4-only road. The cheeky signs provided much needed humor and encouragement.

The traditional African huts were so cute! The set-up was meant to mimic a traditional village. It got very cold at night, but the hot water bottles provided during the turn-down service kept us cozy all night

Once we checked-in to our rooms, we discovered that for the first time in ages, we were in a hotel where is was *safe* to take a walk! We have been living such a sedentary lifestyle this past month – driving everywhere, taking tours – that combined with the copious amounts of food everyone keeps feeding us, we were feeling very out of shape. Too bad we were still sick – we didn’t make it a half an hour before we retreated back to the lodge for some soothing cups of tea. The lodge had a guided walking safari scheduled for before breakfast the next day, so we took it easy in order to be recovered enough to participate.

Finally – a chance to walk amongst the animals in Africa! Since there were no lions or cheetahs in the private reserve, they deemed it safe to walk alone.

After 20min of walking we were winded, so we returned to the common area to drink lots of tea, and enjoy the view from above

The food at Leshiba was AMAZING – steak tenderloin perfectly medium-rare – and we had to pair it with WATER. When will this cold end?!?

A cozy end to a lovely South African evening: snuggling by the campfire and a shot of sherry as a knock-out nightcap

Since rhino poaching is serious problem in South Africa (and Leshiba has unfortunately already had poaching incidents on their property, one of which fatally injured one of their animals), Leshiba asks that guest not share the photos of their rhinos online, as broadcasting the quantity and size of the rhino herd could attract more poachers. For that reason, the next post will be set to private, using the same password as our “Where are we now?” section. If you would like access, please email me.

August 10th, 2016

Day 132: Limpopo River

When we woke up in the morning our worst fears were realized: we were sick. Somewhere, some inconsiderate, sniveling tourist (probably French) had infected us with their germs – CURSE THEM!!! We rolled up a heathy supply of toilet paper to use as tissues, and headed out on the road, as we had a long drive to the Southern border of Botswana.

Our accommodation for the night was at the Limpopo River Lodge, which would be our only self-catering hotel in the Green Bushpig itinerary. As delicious as all the food has been in Africa (seriously – we’ve put on *a lot* of weight in the past 6 weeks), we were really excited to cook for ourselves and control our portion sizes. The only complication was finding a supermarket. Our itinerary recommended that we buy supplies in the town of Selebi Phikwe, which was about 2hrs away from the lodge. After a LONG detour around construction in the crime-ridden city of Francistown (well, that’s the reputation anyways), we finally reached Selebi Phikwe, just as Igor’s cell phone died. Our instructions did not specify a grocery store, and as we didn’t have data service in Botswana to Google anything, we decided to just drive down every street in the town until we found a market. After all, it wasn’t that big of a town and we didn’t have a deadline for when we had to reach the lodge. After driving from one end of the town to the other, we finally found a large building that said “Supermarket”. Since we didn’t have an ice cooler anymore, we decided to go vegetarian for dinner & breakfast (plus, the meat counter smelled kinda off). With our food supplies in hand, we were able to get the cell phone charged just long enough to lead us to the highway, where we could then follow Russell’s directions.

It was a long, bumpy, dusty drive off the paved road to the Limpopo River Lodge, but when we finally checked-in to our riverside cabin and soaked in the remote serenity, we decided it was all worth it. We had a low-key and sober night, as we attractively hacked up all our phlegm by the campfire (we felt SO BAD for the poor family in the cabin next door – we totally ruined their night), then fell into bed before 9PM. Hopefully this cold will be short-lived.

The long, bumpy dirt road to the Limpopo River Lodge Reception. Any place that is *this* hard to reach (and is still in business), *must* be good!

We passed a herd of impalas drinking at a waterhole along the way to our cabin

View of the Limpopo River, from our al fresco kitchen

A charming cabin, and outdoor loo (with a view!) at the Limpopo River Lodge

Even if it is just pasta, Lindsay is excited to be cooking again, in an outdoor kitchen no less!

Enjoying a romantic dinner for two by the fire…in between the sniffles and nose-blowing

Enjoying the outdoors as the stars come out

We tried to stay up, but once the fire died down, we took our sickie selves to bed, around 8:30PM.

August 9th, 2016

Day 131: Elephant Sands

We slept so peacefully that night, surrounded by nothing but stars, snug and cozy against the chilly desert air in our swags – it was an unwelcome jolt when our alarm started going off at 5:30AM! Apparently we had accidentally set an early wake-up call from the week before on auto-repeat! We scrambled to find the stupid phone, buried inside our bag, desperate not to wake up our fellow travelers sleeping nearby. When we finally got the alarm shut off, we were too awake to go back to sleep. Plus, others had started to get up as the pre-dawn sky was already starting to lighten up, so we reluctantly crawled out of bed and made our way to the hot water & coffee station set up by the campfire. After an invigorating cup of caffeine and a muffin to tide us over, we started the long drive back to Planet Baobab, where a full hot breakfast awaited.

Waking up in the cold. The swag is so warm and comfy – Lindsay doesn’t want to get up!

Pre-dawn in the Makgadikgadi Salt Pan

Sunrise in our tent-less campsite in the salt pan

The camp is mobile, so it gets broken down every season before the rain floods the pans. The swags get taken back every day to be cleaned – only the drop toilet sticks around for the full season

Hot coffee & tea and a breakfast muffin to warm us up before the long drive back to Planet Baobab

Dropping off the ATVs at the traditional village, where they also have a large herd of cattle

During the safari-car ride back to Planet Baobab, Lindsay does her best imitation of our dog Caesar when he sticks his head out the car window. Once back at camp, we get a full hot breakfast and our very first fat-cake! (looks and tastes like a donut-hole)

While Planet Baobab offered to let us use their campground showers to freshen up, we decided to drive straight to our next location instead. Elephant Sands was only about an hour and a half away, so we decided we’d just shower in our hotel room, rather than a shared bathroom.

Unfortunately, when we checked-in we discovered our cabin was one of the older, run-down units behind the lodge’s campground – it was a huge bummer as the majority of the cabins are surrounding a waterhole frequented by several herds of elephants. The lodge’s Wifi was also “broken” and none of the cabins had outlets to charge cameras/phones/computers (just a shared power strip in the restaurant) – therefore we spent a very miserable afternoon stuck in a room with no view with laptops that quickly died while we tried to write/download photos. And to top it off, Lindsay was feeling sick. At first she thought she just had a sore throat from breathing in so much dust from the ATV & open safari vehicle rides – several of the other guests in our group complained of a sore throat in the morning, too. However, as the night wore on, she and Igor started to feel worse.

But, we made the best of it – after doing some laundry, taking a nap and a hot warm shower, we headed to the lodge to sit by the waterhole and watch the elephants for a few hours. It was like the watching the most high-definition nature channel in the world! Lindsay got a bit freaked out every now and then when an elephant got tired of drinking and turned his (or her) attention to the crowd – two even started to mock-charge us!

ELEPHANTS EVERYWHERE. Look at the huge elephant that just walked in front of our cabin!

We grab a couple for front-row seats at the elephant watering hole where you can literally just sit 10ft away from dozens of elephants

Igor enjoying his “African TV” (better than 4K – LOL)

Lindsay’s getting nervous, are we sure this is safe? Igor assures her it’s fine – telling her to kick up her boots and relax

A huge bull elephant faces the crowd – he looks like he is going to charge! Seriously, can we move?

After the cigarette smoke chased us away from the front row seats around the fire pit, we head back to our cabin to pick up our jackets, when we discover a HUGE elephant walking around our room! We nervously walk from one point of safety (a tree, the next door cabin, our rental car) before finally making it safely to our door. Even though it is a 60sec walk to the lodge, we opt to drive back for dinner, as we don’t want to get caught in the dark by another elephant!

The lodge has a tame bush baby that hangs around the common area at night – this adorable little guy also has a sweet tooth for Coca-Cola, and tried to sneak some of Igor’s drink!

Since the buffet dinner was supposed to start at 7PM, we order some (non-alcoholic) drinks and sat down at our assigned table about 10min early. Half the lodge’s occupants were still sitting by the waterhole, so we were looking forward to eating quickly and going to bed to rest our sickie bodies. As the minutes tick by, more and more guests sit down at their tables, and still the kitchen staff have not finished putting out the food. By 7:20PM, everyone in the lodge is sitting at the tables, eyes glued to the buffet. Lindsay and Igor can sense an impending stampede – we joke that the French family two tables behind us (in typical French fashion) would surely want to be FIRST. We decided to channel our inner Russian and vowed not to let them beat us!

When the manager announced the buffet was open, the French family *literally* RAN to the buffet table. Not kidding – even the table behind us noticed and started laughing at them. But of all their uncouth lack of manners, Lindsay was just a little be closer and a little bit faster – *without running* she was the very first one in line, with Igor close behind her! We ate quickly (allowing Igor time to head back for an unauthorized second piece of bread) and retired to our cabin to try and get some much-needed sleep.

Since we skipped lunch, Lindsay was super excited for dinner…until the buffet was 20min late opening…she gets really grouchy when she’s hungry

The LONG buffet line (everyone in the lodge was hungry by this point) – Lindsay channeled her inner Russian and was first on the line (even beating out the French family who *literally* ran from their table to the line). Igor was super annoyed when the kitchen staff told him he couldn’t have a second piece of bread – so he went back at the end of dinner to take one when no one was looking. Take that, Elephants Sands!

August 8th, 2016

Day 130: Makgadikgadi Salt Pans

According to our itinerary, we had 450KM drive ahead of us, which was supposed to take us 5-6hrs, so we left Chobe right after breakfast, and drove as quickly as possible in order to reach Planet Baobab by the 2PM deadline. It was easy going, as it was a tarred road in good condition, so we made excellent time. Unfortunately, there was one casualty during our drive: for some reason, Hornbills like to fly low over the road and one flew into our windshield. RIP, Hornbill.

The road from Chobe to Nata was mostly clear, except for a stray giraffe and an unfortunate Hornbill L

In an attempt to eradicate “foot & mouth” disease (which kills wildlife & livestock), the border crossings and random check-points along the main road have these disinfection stations where you have to get out of your car and step your shoes into a solution, then drive your car tires through a puddle of supposedly the same stuff.

Once we reached the Planet Baobab Campground, we had 2hrs to have lunch, repack our day bags and chill out before our overnight tour to the Makgadikgadi Salt Pans. We were part of a group of 10 (a Dutch family of four, and two other couples) – we all boarded an open safari vehicle and started our long drive to the salt pan.

“Turn left at the giant aardvark.” Well, those are driving directions you don’t get every day! And hard to screw up, so needless to say we made it to the Planet Baobab campground

Since we reached Planet Baobab 2hrs. early, we had time for a make-shift lunch in the campground before camping out in the bar

On the way to the salt pan, we had an hour-long stop to see a family of wild meerkats. Now, we had already seen meerkats at the De Zeekoe Guest Farm in South Africa, so we weren’t expecting to be impressed. Holy cow, were we blown away! In South Africa, we had to get up before dawn, and sit still in chairs about 15ft. away from the meerkat holes. In Botswana, we just drive up to the meerkat hole (a ranger still has to do the whole pre-dawn, sunset reconnaissance in order to know where the meerkats will be every day), and walk around while the meerkats run around us! They are so close that we could easily pet them (although that is the ONE rule the ranger had)! The meerkats were totally unafraid of us, and had no problem as we hovered over them while they dug holes searching for bugs to eat. In fact, they were a little curious about us as well – crawling up to our boots and even sniffing our outstretched hands!

Side-stop excursion to visit a meerkat family

These meerkats have no fear of humans at all! We got so close, we could have pet them (but we didn’t)

OMG! This baby meerkat came up to Lindsay and starting playing with her boots!

We could not get enough of these adorable meerkats

While we did not *pet* the meerkats, we did not shoo them away when they came up to us and smelled our hands!

After the meerkat visit, we were ready for the main event: ATV self-drive into the Makgadikgadi Salt Pans to our camp! We geared up with our make-shift facemasks and helmets and drove out into the great nothingness. About halfway to camp we stopped to view the sunset…when all of a sudden we realized the third ATV wasn’t behind us anymore! After waiting for about 15min to see if they would catch up to us, our guide, Robert, told the 8 of us to wait while he went to search for them. We all enjoyed a beautiful sunset and joked that the latecomers must have missed the turn and kept driving across the pans – turns out their engine had died, and Robert had to tow their ATV behind the safari truck.

A traditional village at the edge of the salt pans stores the ATVs for the campground

We were warned that the dust kicked up by the ATVs can be brutal, so we pulled out our bandanas/scarves for protection…and to look badass!

Driving out to the Makgadikgadi Salt Pan on an ATV

The dry, lifeless surface of the Makgadikgadi Salt Pan

Enjoying the sunset with the other tourists as we wait for our guide to find the missing duo

The rest of the evening went off without a hitch – Robert was able to lead us to the camp in the fast growing dark without a problem, where we were all rewarded with a warm campfire and a delicious steak dinner. Lindsay had brought along her latest bottle of Casillero del Diablo, so she and Igor popped it open and took swigs straight from the bottle (CLASSY!!!).

Since we were in the middle of the salt flats, there were no bugs and no animals to worry about, so we all slept in swags, with nothing but the stars overhead. The moon had set around 9PM that night, so by the time we crawled into bed, we had the most spectacular view of the Milky Way we have probably ever seen. Our only regret didn’t do more camping on this trip.

Sitting around the campfire, watching our guide cook up a delicious steak braai

The most remote camp we’ve ever stayed in – no need for tents in the middle of the salt pans as there are no bugs and no animals – so we slept in swags (really heavy sleeping bags with a foam matress inside)

A truly magical evening – the unbelivable beauty of camping in the Makgadikgadi Salt Pans

August 7th, 2016

Day 129: Victoria Falls & Chobe National Park

Victoria Falls is a really expensive place to stay, so unfortunately 2 days was the max we could afford to stay, which meant we would have a jam-packed final day. Igor really wanted to fly a microlight aircraft (basically a 2-man kite with a lawn mower engine) over the falls, so we had the Gorges Lodge book the earliest available flight, so that we would have time to visit Victoria Falls (you know, the main reason we are here?).

The only microlight operators are on the Zambian side (along with Devil’s Pool and the helicopter rides that go into the gorge – we discovered that Zambia does all the *dangerous* stuff), which meant we would need to allow time to go through immigration before our flights. We woke up the poor kitchen staff at 5:30AM so that we could be on the road at 6AM, and at the border crossing by 7AM. Surprisingly, we were not the only ones at the border crossing that early in the morning, but luckily the wait wasn’t too long. After shelling out USD $50pp for our single entry visas, we had a new stamp in our passport and we were on our way.

Once we got to the Batoka Sky airstrip and paid for our 15min flights (USD $150pp), we had about an hour long wait while the three aircrafts took up one tourist after another. Their operation was crazy efficient – time is money (at USD $600/hour!!!) and they were not wasting a single second! Lindsay managed to snap a few pics of Igor as he boarded is aircraft before the ground crew told her to put away all her cameras (even the GoPro, as they want you to buy *their* GoPro pics at USD $20pp) so she could get ready for her flight. Was the experience worth it? Yes…but once is enough.

Crossing the bridge into Zambia – it’s a busy international crossing so they *try* to make to process “in & out”

Taking a Microlight Flight was high on Igor’s bucket list for Vic Falls, so we booked the earliest slot available

Igor taking off in a flying lawnmower!

Our first full view of Victoria Falls is in the air! We do a full loop, seeing it from both the Zimbabwe side and the Zambian side before returning to base

Lindsay was right on Igor’s heels, flying over the Falls

Riding the microlight wasn’t enough for Igor – he asked the pilot if he could steer! The pilot gave him the go-ahead to fly them back toward the airstrip, passing a herd of hippo along the way!

Once we crossed back to Zimbabwe, we made a beeline for the Victoria Falls National Park, where we had 2hrs. to walk the trail across the gorge from the falls, taking in the majesty of the 350ft high waterfall. As it was late morning by this time, the trail was quite crowded (hey – there are all the Chinese tourists! We’ve been missing them during our African adventure so far) – the falls are spectacular, don’t get me wrong, but Lindsay at least had a hard time appreciating Victoria Falls as a *wonder of nature* with so many people around. Perhaps the experience would have been better first thing in the morning, or right before it closes?

Last but not least – visiting the Victoria Falls National Park (Zimbabwe) to see the waterfall in all its glory

Gotta say, they aren’t trying too hard to keep people out of the river. I guess the attitude in Africa is, “if you are dumb enough to climb over the fence, you deserve to die”

The Devil’s Cataract

The many faces of Victoria Falls

The Main Falls – ‘nough said

Victoria Falls – (arguably) the biggest waterfall in the world

Igor crossing the limits for a fantastic photo of Vic Falls – luckily Lindsay was there to pull him back from the brink

Once we said, “Good bye!” to Victoria Falls, we had a 2hr. drive to the Kasungula border crossing, where we walked across into Botswana. Our hotel transfer was waiting for us and returned us to the Chobe Safari Lodge (hey – our rental car is still there – yay!). Somehow we arrived ahead of schedule, so we were able to check-in and freshen up before our sunset river cruise. Unlike the Vic Fall cruise the day before, drinks were not included, but at least we didn’t have assigned seating and could move about the boat to view the wildlife (and since we were technically inside the Chobe National Park, there was *a lot* of wildlife).

One rant about this experience – and please, no offense to all of our friends with kids – but WHY would anyone bring a baby and a toddler on a sunset river cruise? (BTW – the lodge offers babysitting service) For over two hours, two children were crying on and off, ruining the peace and tranquility for all the other guests – and it’s not like the parents were having a good time either as they were obviously stressed out trying to calm their kids down. I get that they want to have a family vacation, but why pick a location and activity that is not child-friendly? Given how insanely expensive it is to fly your family to Africa and staying in this resort, it would make more sense to wait until your kids are old enough to behave (and *remember* the experience! You think that toddler is going to remember his family trip to Botswana?! NO!!!). There was another family on the boat with kids that were around 8 & 10 years old – they all looked like they were having a great time! Hey, maybe we’ll be in the same boat (no pun intended) someday, but until we are, we apologize if we are a grumpy childless couple.

The Big Baobab Tree! A quick photo-stop on our fall to the Botswana border

Checking into our nice room in the resort-y Chobe Safari Lodge, before a sundowner cruise through Chobe National Park (no free booze this time)

The warthog – part of the Ugly Five. Look at that face! It’s so ugly it’s cute!

The many birds of Chobe: a Darter, a pair of Fish Eagles and a Marabou Stork

No day in Botswana is complete without elephants!

The number of tourist boats that descended on this herd of elephants was ridiculous! No wonder this guy started swimming away…

Lots of hippos in Chobe – the poor guy on the right looks like he was nursing some injuries from a recent fight with the dominant male in the area

A wily croc – does he really think someone is just going to wander into his open mouth?

Ohhhh, myyyy! This bull elephant has noticed a female in estrus…and it got him very horny

Kinky elephant sex – I guess this guy likes an audience…

So. Many. Boats.

A local fisherman in a traditional mokoro

Ellies in the distance – could this sunset *be* any more Botswanan?

August 6th, 2016

Day 128: Zambezi River

So, while our lodge was super fancy and the food/accommodations/staff were awesome, there was one little problem which was out of their control. Last night we discovered that there is a nightclub at the bottom of the Batoka Gorge, which blared thumping techno music AT NIGHT LONG. Not even exaggerating – it was still going at sunrise. Worse, it was on the Zambian side of the river, so what could the owners do about it? Call a noise complaint with the cops? It’s another friggin’ country! You need a fucking visa just to go over there and complain! Oh well, we’re road-hardy travelers at this point. We popped in our earplugs and slept just fine.

Nightclub on the Zambian side of the river was still thumping techno at sunrise

We didn’t pre-book any of the activities at Victoria Falls, as many of them depend on the height of the river at the time. We really wanted to go swimming at the Devil’s Pool – a natural “infinity pool” at the edge of the waterfall, however, the water level was still too high and the pool wasn’t open yet (we were told we missed it by about 2 weeks). As an alternative, several people we met along our travels had recommended white water rafting. Igor and Lindsay had both been rafting once (Igor in upstate NY during a bachelor party, Lindsay in Montana during her bachelorette party), but neither had tackled Class 5 rapids. But we didn’t tell the tour operator that.

The trip was AWESOME! We went over 19 rapids – five were Class 5, most of the others were Class 3 and 4. The pace was perfect – we had plenty of time in between rapids to catch our breath and prepare for our next brush with Death. Our tour group was divided into two boats – we were paired with a couple of American girls from Las Vegas, both of whom had been rafting before. Our team had a great rapport and at the end of the day we boasted that none of us fell out of the boat. The other raft was made up of an Englishwoman and her daughter, and three Chinese guys. They did not seem to gel as well – when they hit Rapid #13 “The Mother”, three of them went overboard! Everyone was rescued safely, so it was very entertaining for us to watch. J

Getting ready to hit the water! Getting our safety briefing and gear at the top of the gorge

It’s a long, steep walk down the side of the gorge to the river

Below the Victoria Falls Railway Bridge – the border crossing between Zimbabwe and Zambia – about to set foot into the Zambezi River

The water level is low enough that we can start our tour at Rapid #1: The Boiling Pot

Thumbs up – ready to go!

Paddling fiercely toward a Class 5 rapid!

RAPID IMPACT! This photo is intense – let’s break it down, shall we?

Igor’s like, “Whoa!” Lindsay’s like, “Ugh!” Our guide is like, “Meh.”

High fives and thumbs up! Our team is killing it – we didn’t lose anyone to the river that day!

Walking around two rapids (#7 & #9) that are classed 6+ – Lindsay is barefoot, so she has to walk very carefully

A deicious BBQ lunch awaits us at the top of the gorge

AWESOME DAY with Shearwater Rafting! We chucked out the extra USD $50 for their thumb drive with video and photos, and we are so glad we did! Really impressed with the professionalism, quality and plain old fun of this company! Highly recommended.

The endpoint for the rafting tour was conveniently 5min away from the Gorges Lodge, so we got dropped off first and had about an hour to shower and change before hopping in the hotel shuttle to drive to our sundowner cruise at the top of the Victoria Falls. The boat was ridiculously crowded (actually, the whole river was crowded!), and all seating was communal (we were paired up with a very nice, older Australian couple), and while drinks were unlimited, we didn’t feel like chugging cheap wine and giving ourselves a hangover. But we did get a few nice shots of hippos and elephants, a pretty sunset, and some nice conversation, so not a terrible way to spend an afternoon. However, we were extreemly pleased when we returned to the Gorges Lodge and discovered we were the only guests for the night – we had the whole restaurant to ourselves! Feeling very VIP.