January 31st & February 1st, 2017

Days 308 & 309: Buenos Aires

Our last two experiences at Argentinean airports taught us that it does not pay to arrive too early (even when you have passes to an executive lounge) as the airlines refuse to let you check-in more than 2 hours before your flight. So, we took our time in the morning, and arrived exactly 2 hours early for our 1PM flight. We only had carry-on luggage with us, so ticketing was a breeze and we were ready to go through security right away.

As we reach the security desk, we watch as the two female security agents check-in the people ahead of us (one of who we were pretty sure was on the same flight we were). When we approached Maria E. Ramírez, she looked at our ticket than handed it back and said, “Your flight is not boarding until 12.” We were dumbfounded.

“We can’t go through security?”

“No.”

“Sooooo…we just have to sit here for an hour?” Maria shrugged. “But we have passes to the lounge inside,” Lindsay pulled up the picture on Igor’s phone, “can we please go in now?” Master & Commander Ramírez pointed us to the “Customer Service” phone and told us we could call and ask – of course the woman on the phone backed up the security guard and told us to wait. When we turned back to the desk, both guards had disappeared and closed the doors to the terminal behind them. Through the glass doors we could see them inside, *having a fucking mate break*.

Over the course of the next hour and fifteen minutes (because the security guards did *not* return from their mate break on time), the empty hall filled up with every single person on our flight, queueing up in a line, waiting to get through security. Seriously, it would have been so much more efficient to just check in people early, to avoid all the crowding. But no – these women just wanted a power trip.

 

Sitting outside security for OVER AN HOUR because the fucking ticket checkers need to feel important

 

When Lindsay called their “Customer Service,” she was told that she would have to wait an hour – Hey! Just enough time for a LINE to form! ARGENTINOS LOVE LINES.

When we finally got into the terminal, we only had 15min before boarding started. We looked around for the lounge, hoping we still had time to grab a cup of coffee before getting on the flight, however, there was no lounge! It wasn’t until we were actually boarding that we finally saw the doors to the lounge – only accessible though the locked doors to the flight bridge, hidden in the (now defunct) international wing of the airport. OK, given that you are not permitted to go through security until an hour before departure and the entrance is inaccessible, does anyone ever use it?!? Argentina – you are not doing it right!

By the time we got to Buenos Aires, we were pretty frustrated and feeling relieved that we had booked such a short stay in the capital. We returned to our hotel, picked up our big bag, and went up to our room to relax and plan our evening. Buenos Aires is known for its nightlife, so we were looking forward to a nice dinner and some Argentine tango. Igor found a highly rated “farm to table” bistro in the Palermo neighborhood, and Lindsay found a milonga (tango dancehall) within walking distance. We made an absurdly early reservation (by BA standards) at 8PM, planning to arrive at the milonga around 10:30PM. Even then we would be insanely early – apparently the band wasn’t scheduled to go on until *1:30AM*. Yeah, we’re too old to stay up that late, so we knew full well we would miss the main attraction but at least we would get a glimpse of the REAL tango culture.

 

Dinner date in Buenos Aires

 

Fancy-shmancy bread and *delicious* Patagonian Pinot Noir

 

OK – we admit it: Argentinos make really good food. Fucking awesome dinner.

So, most tourists go to “dance & dinner” shows to see Argentine Tango in Buenos Aires. Those can be very entertaining, but we can do that back home in NYC. We wanted to see the REAL dance scene, so we decided to visit the milonga at Salon Canning. The experience was very interesting and educational for us. First of all, NO WE DID NOT DANCE. Argentine Tango is a very intricate dance (nothing like International Tango, which Igor does know), and the dancers here were so deadly serious on the dance floor, we knew they would not appreciate a pair of newbies bumping about awkwardly. Second, the mood is so different from other social dances we’ve been to. We’re no experts, but we’ve been to a dozen or so salsa clubs over the years – in comparison to salsa (which is fun & flirty, usually in a low-lit bar scene) tango feels like passionate foreplay (which is really weird considering all the lights were on). What made it feel really naughty, was the fact that strangers would meet up and dance together in these halls – I mean, it looks like these people are emotionally cheating on their spouses! And Third, there is a very formal etiquette to the milonga: if a woman is invited to dance (indicated by a knowing look from across the room – which she can “pretend not to see” to reject), the man is obliged to dance a set of 4 songs with her. We noticed that each set of 4 tangos was punctuated by a non-tango song (usually pop or a cha-cha), signaling the couples to leave the dancefloor.

 

We pass by the entrance to the milonga hall twice before we finally spot it – inside the dancefloor is packed with locals

 

Lindsay and Igor watch from the bar. These dancers are intimidating – they are VERY good and they are so SERIOUS

For our only full day in Buenos Aires, we had to pack in as much sight-seeing as possible. Both of our foot/leg injuries were healing nicely, but we didn’t want to risk messing anything up this close to our dive trip, so we opted for the Hop On, Hop Off bus. It may be a bit corny, but we had never actually gone on one of these tours before, so we decided to try it out. We jumped on around 8AM and rode the entire route of all three bus circuits, giving us a passing glimpse of all the most famous neighborhoods of Buenos Aires – Recoleta & Palermo on the Red Line, the Center, Monserrat, San Telmo & La Boca on the Blue Line, and the northern part of the city on the Green Line. The only places we explored on foot were La Boca (a wildly colorful tourist trap) and the Recoleta Cemetery just outside of our hotel. By the time we staggered back into our room around 5PM, we were exhausted. No more late nights for us – we picked up a bottle of Argentinean sparkling and camped out in our jammies for the rest of the night.

 

Exploring BA the lazy way – the Hop On, Hop Off tourist bus

 

Buenos Aires proudly calls itself the “Paris of South America” – indeed, its buildings are very European

 

Buenos Aires – loudly colorful!

 

Artsy-fartsy graffiti: it’s street art

 

It’s a beautiful, sunny summer day in Buenos Aires – perfect for sitting atop the open-air bus and driving through the tree-lined streets of Buenos Aires

 

The Obelisk of Buenos Aires – commemorating the federalization of the country’s capital in 1880

 

Protesters evoking the image of Evita Perón

 

The colorful streets of the über-touristy La Camineta

 

Several cafés have tango performers dancing in front of the outdoor tables, attracting cruisers like flies to honey

 

Street art in La Boca, depicting political protesters

 

Random sights around BA: Floralis Genérica – a steel sculpture of a flower that opens every morning and closes everynight; and the gateway arch to BA’s Barrio Chino – a “gift” from the People’s Republic of China that was initially refused by the city government and installed *without* their permission.

 

The tour’s information overload lulled Lindsay to sleep, so we stopped for a sugar-rush at one of BA’s many ice-creameries

 

Wandering through the elaborate tombs of the Recoleta Cemetary

 

Cobweb-covered statues holding a withering bouquet of flowers – delightfully creepy!

 

We were shocked to see that many of the mausoleums have broken doors and windows – some are even being used as storage closets for the cemetery groundskeeper! Doesn’t seem very respectful.

 

A teeny little dinner of cheese and eggs, with a healthy serving of bubbles!