Author: Lindsay and Igor

Day 352: The Amazon – Iquitos Day 1

So, in addition to being sick all night and getting little sleep, we were woken up around 6AM by a bunch of INCONSIDERATE ASSHOLES who thought it was appropriate to shout, “Whoop! Whoop!” and talk loudly in the hotel hallway at the butt-crack of dawn. These guys must have been high or drunk – they were just hanging out in the hall for about 3 hours. (We suspect a lot of Western tourists come to Iquitos to take drugs – we heard that the Amazon River has become a major highway for smuggling cocaine into Brazil. Last night, we noticed so many of the tourists in the area look super thin and haggard.)

Around 10AM, a car arrived at the hotel to pick us up and take us to the port-town of Nauta – the end of the road leading out of Iquitos. From Nauta, we boarded a longboat and headed out into the Marañón River – one of the many tributaries of the Amazon. It took us about a 1.5hr. to reach the lodge from the port. We made a quick drive-by the official head of the Amazon River (where the Marañón River and the Ucayali Rivers meet), and we found a pod of over a dozen river dolphins during our transfer – Iquitos was off to a GREAT start!

 

Leaving the town of Iquitos behind as we head toward the confluence of the Amazon River

 

Lindsay is still weak from her food poisoning and lack of sleep

 

Heading up the Marañón River, we catch a quick glimpse of the official start of the Amazon River

 

The Amazon reminds us of the Okavango Delta – lots of birds

 

Dolphins! We see a pod of Gray River Dolphins playing where the calm “black water” meets the strong currents of the “brown water,” then we spot a huge PINK River Dolphin

 

Pink River Dolphins breaching the surface and showing off their noses!

 

Local houses on stilts – during the rainy season, everyone needs a boat to get around

 

Passing a luxury cruise ship on the way to our luxury tree house lodge

When we arrived at the Treehouse Lodge, we realized we had every right to be critical of the hotel we stayed at in Puerto Maldonado. The Treehouse Lodge was the same cost per night, but the rooms were private (the lodge capacity was only 10 rooms vs 50+ rooms), the meals were decadent, delicious and served to each guest individually (no buffets), and – best of all! – all rooms and common areas had both screens AND ceiling fans! This place did it RIGHT!

 

Lindsay’s tummy is very weak, so she is limited to plain white rice for lunch while Igor gets a delicious spread of fancy food

 

Long walk down the boardwalk, up the stairs, and across the suspension bridge to get to our treehouse room. We will definitely NOT be able to hear anyone poop in this lodge!

 

Lindsay loves our treehouse!

Unfortunately, we only gave ourselves two nights at the Treehouse, so we had to make the best use of our time. All of our excursions with our private guide, Martín, were included with our stay, so we planned an afternoon of piranha fishing and a night-time boat ride on the river for our first day. Lindsay was still very queasy, so she still was content to just sit on the floor of the boat and watch as Igor baited his hook with raw beef and dropped it into the water. He didn’t catch any piranha (those guys are clever fish – they were very sneaky and bit the bait off the hook from the side without tugging the line at all!) but he did catch several catfish. Each time he felt a tug on the line, he yanked the line out of the water and promptly dropped the fish in Lindsay’s lap – each time she screamed, thinking it was a piranha.

 

Afternoon on the Marañón River

 

Leaving the main river and descending into the quiet floodplains in search of piranha

 

Igor catches a half dozen catfish – the piranha are just too tricky!

 

Our guide manages to catch a piranha – look at those teeth!

 

Golden Hour on the river – we find a Praying Mantis stowaway on our boat

 

Sunset in the Amazon

Our guide brought back the one eating-sized piranha he caught for us. The chef cooked it for us as an appetizer. There wasn’t much meat, but what there was tasted pretty good (like flaky white fish). The rest of dinner was just as fancy and tasty as lunch (Lindsay was slowly feeling better and was able to eat half!).

 

Tables have turned on this piranha! We’re gonna eat YOU!

 

Super fancy appetizers and live music – now THIS is a luxury jungle lodge!

After dinner, we got into a small longboat and headed back out onto the Marañón River. We had a cloudless sky and the moon hadn’t risen yet, so the star were absolutely breathtaking (especially with the silhouette of the jungle framing the sky – just WOW!). We wanted to capture a picture, but the movement of the boat in the water would distort the long-exposure image, so it will just have to live in our memories.

Our driver, Fernando, drove us into the “black water” flood plains where we had been fishing earlier – now we were on the hunt for caiman. Martín would shine a flashlight into the tall grasses, looking for the red reflection off the reptile’s eyes. There wasn’t much activity today, but after about 20min, he finally pointed out some little dots of red. “Oh, cool!” we said – thinking that would be the extent of our caiman viewing. Fernando drove the boat over to the grasses where the red eyes were – suddenly Martín leaned over the front of the bow. At first we thought, maybe we were stuck on the bank and he’s just pushing us off? Then he turns back to us and we see he had just PULLED A BABY CAIMAN OUT OF THE WATER WITH HIS BARE HANDS. “Do you want to hold it?” He asked. “YES,” Igor says immediately.

I think our plan is backfiring – instead of making us want to go home, the Amazon around Iquitos is so awesome we want to stay longer!

 

Our guide pulls a Crocodile Dunee-move and grabbs a baby caiman out of the water!

Days 341 – 342: Journey to Iquitos

We were not sorry to leave the Refugio Amazons – Puerto Maldonado was not worth the trip, and we were starting to look forward to going home. But we still had to visit the northern section of the Amazon, so we started our LONG journey to Iquitos.

We left the Refugio just after breakfast and took a 1.5hr. boat ride back to Infierno (we were travelling with the current this time, so the ride was a bit faster). As it was still dark when we left our room, we *almost* left our camera sitting on the bedside table – luckily, we were so used to documenting every second of our travels, we noticed it was missing just as the boat was leaving the dock. Disaster averted!

Our Star Peru flight back to Cusco was smooth and easy. We had a 4hr. layover in Cusco, but luckily for us, the Cusco Airport has TWO VIP lounges – one before security and one after, so we were able to grab lunch before the Peruvian airline ticket counter opened for check-in. Seriously, LOVE Cusco.

Lounge #1 – Puerto Maldonado

 

Lounge #2 – Cusco, Landside. Chicken salad sandwich and a pisco sour – now THIS is VIP service!

 

Lounge #3 – Cusco, Airside. Igor now wants to buy this elaborate fresh-squeezed orange juice machine.

When we got to the gate for our next leg from Cusco to Lima to Iquitos, we discovered there was a projected 15min delay. We looked at each other – this was not good. We only had a 45min layover in Lima. The delay got worse and worse – 15min became 30min, and 30min became 45min. The purported reason for the delay was weather in Cusco was too dangerous for takeoff, despite the fact that it looked partly sunny outside and we saw another plane land safely while we were waiting. A LCPeru flight at the next gate was scheduled to leave 30min after us, and when it started boarding before us, passengers on our fight started flipping out. Our gate agent assured us that their plane was NOT going to take off – they would just wait in the plane instead of in the terminal. Long story short, we eventually took off just late enough to ensure we would miss our connecting flight – the last flight of the day to Iquitos.

During our flight, a fellow passenger overheard our predicament. Apparently this guy was in the airline industry and had worked for 10 international airlines over the years. He recommended that we ask for a comped hotel room. “Just tell them to ‘please help me,’ don’t get angry,” he advised us. We exited the terminal and went straight to the Peruvian ticket counter and explained our situation to the agent, Mayor. First, he assured us that we would be put on the first flight the next day, at 6AM. When we asked for a hotel room, he excused himself to go to the back office and check with his supervisor. Since we were the only travelers that were stranded by this weather delay, the manager must have decided the expense for putting us up for the night would be minimal, so he approved the request for a hotel, taxi to and from the airport, AND dinner! Even better, our hotel in Iquitos let us cancel our reservation without penalty, so the inconvenience didn’t cost us a cent (good thing too – Lindsay was NOT looking forward to filing an insurance claim).

The hotel was no frills: no AC, and close to the airport in the Bellavista neighborhood of Lima. Reviews online claimed it was a rough neighborhood, but it didn’t look to bad to us. However, it’s not like there were any attractions to tempt us to walk around outside anyways. After check-in, the manager told us they would call us to come down when dinner was ready. The hotel had a restaurant area, so we assumed they were preparing something for us. When we sat down at a table, however, we saw a delivery guy bring a large brown bag to the back of the bar. A few seconds later, two large plates with roasted chicken and French Fries came out – they actually ordered take-out for us! The serving sizes were HUGE, so we were more than pleased. Thanks Peruvian Airlines – ya did good.

 

Take-out chicken dinner, courtesy of Peruvian Airlines

 

We sprung for a couple of beers to help us unwind in our non-air conditioned room at the Vista del Sol Hotel

Everything went smoothly with our flight the next day. We checked into our hotel (really pretty historical building near the river) and dropped off our stinky clothes at a nearby laundromat. The only attraction we were interested in in town was the Manatee Rescue Center, so we had our hotel call us a taxi.

Iquitos is not connected to the rest of Peru via paved road – if we want to drive to Lima you actually have to drive through Brazil! As such, there is not much demand for full-sized cars, as most people only shuttle around town, so the streets are full of motorcycle rickshaws instead. We catch one to the rescue center – a good 20min drive to the outskirts of town. Bring sunglasses – the dust was fierce.

The Manatee Research Center was cute – they had several animals besides manatees as well (monkeys, turtles, even otters!). Their mission for all animals they receive was Rescue, Recovery and Release. Over the years, they’ve acquired around 25 manatees (many were orphaned, victims of hunting by locals who both want to eat them, and mistakenly kill them because they think the vegetarian manatees are eating the fish population), and they have successfully released 15 back into the wild. These gentle giants need all the help the center can give them – we never saw a manatee in the wild.

 

Hotel Epoca – a charming riverside hotel in a historical building in Iquitos

 

Grabbing a USD $15 moto-rickshaw to the Manatee Rescue Center outside of town

 

Our guide, Kelly, walks us through the research complex. This sandbox is a “faux beach” where the turtles can lay their eggs in safety

 

Plastic dummies showing the maximum size of some of the Amazon’s aquatic residents: a Pink River Dolphin and a Black Caiman

 

“Grandfather Tree” in the “Children’s Forest” – where the local rangers teach local school kids about cultivating a sustainable relationship with nature

 

Badass Amazon turtles. Two fellas got into a fight, and one got knocked over onto his back. Poor guy was still stuck like that when we left an hour later

 

A baby Ocelot and a forlorn Capuchin Monkey

 

A Bald Uakuri – what an ugly little monkey!

 

The “River Wolf” – a Giant Amazon Otter

 

Our guide asks for a volunteer – Lindsay raises her hand because she thinks she’ll get to pet a monkey. Instead, Kelly asks Lindsay to close her eyes and put her hand inside a mystery bag – WTF? What’s in there?!? Turns out to be just a Brazil Nut shell, but Lindsay was freaking out thinking it would be something slimy.

 

More jungle babies! Baby caiman and baby turtles

 

BABY MANATEES!!!!!

 

Kelly shows us some river plants that manatees love to eat – these animals are strictly vegetarian and are very helpful in keeping waterways free from overgrowth. The orphan babies in the rescue center are fed cow’s milk via bottles at first, but part of their “recovery” mission is to wean them onto eating plants

 

Lindsay finally gets her manatee moment.

That evening, we walked down to the riverside restaurants and found a great vegetarian place. We came back to the hotel and popped open a surprisingly delicious bottle of Peruvian bubbly. We flipped on the TV for a while – most TV shows and movies were dubbed in Spanish, except horror movies, so we found a scary flik. Around 10PM, we turned off the lights and went to sleep.

Fast forward a few hours. I don’t know what I ate, but Lindsay woke up with the WORST case of food poisoning either of us had had on the trip. She tried to keep quiet, hoping it would pass…but it didn’t. She finally had to wake up Igor, crying, asking him to get her some Imodium…which she immediately threw up. After a few hours, things finally settled down enough for Lindsay to go back to sleep. Ugh. BAD night.

 

A delicious vegetarian causa dinner and a bottle of Peruvian sparkling wine

Day 350: The Amazon – Puerto Maldonado Day 3

Our streak of good weather couldn’t last forever – a thunder storm swept in in the middle of the night and it rained off and on for the whole day today. We didn’t mind much as the excursions we picked for today were really just filler. We started the morning with a trip to a nearby Oxbow Lagoon – a small lake that was formed when a section of the river got cut off from the main channel. Since the water here was still, not moving with the current, it created a habitat for all sorts of different (and dangerous!) creatures – especially piranha and anaconda.

We had a 40min nature walk through the jungle on our way to the lake, then another 30min slowly paddling through the water. Timoteo brought some bread to toss in the water and show off the piranha’s feeding frenzy – the pictures didn’t come out, but let’s just say it was obvious that you should NOT dip your finger in this water. (Timoteo admitted that he *has* had a tourist dumb enough to do just that. Guy was from Florida. Idiot lost the tip of his finger.) We continued our walk on the opposite end of the lake to visit a huge strangler fig tree that was completely hollow inside from having destroyed its host tree – sadly it was a complete downpour by that time, so we couldn’t take out the camera.

 

Lindsay takes a nap on the lobby sofa as we wait to see if the rain will let up. When we start our nature walk, Timoteo picks up a fallen weaver’s nest, which is surprisingly dry inside – good construction, birdies!

 

A Walking Tree?!? Is this Peru or Middle Earth?!? This tree’s stilt-like roots lift the truck over 5ft above the ground – if the tree isn’t getting enough sunlight or nutrients, it will grow a new root reaching to the side and the whole tree will start to move towards the new growth. So, not as fast as the CGI characters in the movie, but still pretty cool.

 

A new root vs an old root on a Walking Tree. The tree next to it is the Devil’s Penis Tree. Look at the roots and you’ll figure out where the name came from…

 

This clay tube coming out of the ground is the front entrance to a cicada’s underground home! Since the top has been broken off, we know the cicada has already flown the nest

 

An Owl Butterfly, and the rock-hard shell of a Brazil Nut pod

 

Fun with fungi! Hundreds of little white mushrooms start to decompose a fallen tree truck, and Lindsay can hear better with a gigantic Elephant’s Ear

 

Termites building a nest on a tree trunk using their poop. If the mosquitos are bothering you, the locals might recommend grabbing a handful of these guys, crushing them and rubbing them on your skin: natural bug repellent! Just be careful not to pick up any of the ants – the mandible is about a centimeter wide – ouch!

 

Downpour during our boat ride on Oxbow Lagoon

 

A pair of Hoatzin, AKA “Stinkbirds” – these jungle turkeys are herbivores that ruminate their food like a cow – the fermenting food sits in their crop and produces a bad odor. They are not endangered as apparently they also taste pretty bad and the locals do not hunt them

 

A break in the weather at Oxbow Lagoon

Climbing the canopy tower to get above the tree tops

 

Carefully walking across the slippery, lacquered wood planks to get back to our room

In the afternoon, we took another walk through the forest to an animal clay lick. We knew this was going to be a bust – we’ve NEVER seen mammals at any of the clay licks we’ve visited throughout the world. Our low expectations were justified – nothing in that hide except a cloud of mosquitos. Oh well, not every day can be amazing.

 

A hide next to the mammal clay lick in the jungle. (No one is there)

 

Even though it stopped raiing, Igor keeps his poncho on as an extra layer of protection from the mosquitos

 

So Lindsay noticed a cockroach in our shower, stuck on its back this afternoon. Rather than help the poor guy up, she left him struggling on his back and left for her excursion through the forest. Imagine her horror when she returns to her “dorm” in the evening and discovers that the unfortunate bug has been EATTEN ALIVE by a swam of ants!

Day 349: The Amazon – Puerto Maldonado Day 2

Even though it was the rainy season, we lucked out and got a sunny day for our excursion to the Tambopata Clay Lick. We had set our alarm for a 4:30AM wake up call, so we could be down at the long boat by 5AM. Luckily, our guide Timoteo had warned us to bring sweaters as the early morning air was surprisingly chilly as our boat sped up river for 2.5hr. When we finally arrived at the clay lick, we discovered two other tour groups were already there.

The Tambopata Clay Lick is a long wall of clay that runs along the river bank of the Madre de Dios River. Around sunrise, various parrots will begin flying into the area – sometimes hundreds can arrive! The birds will land on the river bank and bite off bits of clay, eating the mud. The most commonly accepted theory for why they do this is to neutralize the toxins in their body from their diet of raw seeds and nuts. (Kinda like taking a charcoal pill when you have food poisoning.)

Unfortunately, the closest we could get to the clay licks was about 100M, on the opposite riverbank. We had our zoom lens and our guide brought a scope for us to look through, but after our many close encounters with wildlife this year, we were pretty disappointed with the distance restriction. We were able to get a few decent pictures when we first arrived – the sunny weather had brought out several dozen macaws and around 50+ little green parakeets. Luckily we arrived when we did, though, as about 30min later a large hawk started flying overhead and all the parakeets flew off in a loud squawking frenzy. A handful of macaws stuck around for another hour or so.

Since the activity had died down, we sat on our little stools and ate our pitiful packed breakfast (plain bread, hard boiled eggs and packaged cookies. At least they had canned milk for the coffee). After an hour had passed with no change in conditions, we started to get antsy. Finally, one of the other guests asked, “What are we waiting for?” One of the guides said, “We’re waiting to see if the birds will come back. But we can go if you guys want to.” Lindsay said very loudly, “*I’m* OK leaving now.” None of the other guests seemed interested in staying longer, so our guides packed up and headed back to the boats.

 

Our 2.5hr. boat ride to the clay lick starts before the sun is up

 

Deep cracks form as the wet clay dries – if you step on it, you’ll sink to your knees!

 

Waiting on the opposite side of the river from the clay lick, looking at the macaws through the scope

 

About two dozen birds (Scarlet Macaws, Red and Green Macaws, and Green Parakeets) are landing o the clay lick, eating mud

 

Scarlet Macaws in mid-flight

 

A pair of Yellow and Blue Macaws – photo on the left was taken with our zoom lens, photo on the right was taken with Igor’s cell phone, using the scope for magnification

 

After about 30min, a hawk flies by and frightens all the parakeets away

We got back to the lodge a little before lunch. We had a few hours of downtime, as we agreed to meet Timoteo for the afternoon excursion around 3PM. Since we had such an early wake-up that morning, the heat and humidity were making us pretty sleepy, so we went back to our room and took naps under the mosquito nets of our separate beds. (We were SO glad to have separate beds – it was so hot at night without a fan that there was no way we wanted to be next to each other’s body heat. No snuggling in *this* jungle!)

When we met up with Timoteo, he took us back down to the boat for our trip to the fruit farm on the other side of the river. We expected it to be a little corny, but it turned out to be AWESOME. Igor in particular loves to eat fruit anyways, so having a guide just pick fruits fresh off the tree, cut it up with a machete, and hand it to us to eat was right up our alley! Lindsay has been constantly hunger on this trip, so free food was more than welcome.

 

Star Fruit and fresh Ginger Root

 

Lindsay holds a MASSIVE lemon, and Timoteo points out some ripe coffee berries

 

Timoeteo introduces us to a tropical fruit we’ve never seen before: a South American Sapote. The fiberous flesh looks and tastes like a very sweet & juicy pumpkin!

 

The sap of this tree is black, but when you massage it into your skin, it turns into a white paste that can be used as an antiseptic

 

Timoteo peels us a mandarin – since he’s sick, we gladly take the extra dose of Vitamin C

 

Sugar and Chocolate – the rainforest is giving Lindsay candy! We tried eating the raw cocoa beans – they were kinda sour. But the sugar cane was juicy and delicious – like drinking sugary water!

 

Bananas and a cocoa-bean lookalike (ooops! Forgot the name!)

 

Fluffy white cotton on the left and a horribly scary hornet’s nest on the right!

 

The fruit farmer had a variety of chickens: a pretty rooster, a really ugly hen and her chicks, and a cute yellow chick

 

Crossing the Madre de Dios River around sunset

Regarding the food served at the lodge, we were VERY disappointed. Not that the quality was particularly bad – everything was edible and a few meals were pretty tasty. However, when a hotel charges *resort prices* and calls themselves a LUXURY establishment, expectations are set to a certain level. Meals at Refugio Amazonas, however, felt more like a cafeteria in a research center. Guests were told to show up to the dinner “buffet” promptly at 7:15PM when the first dinner bell was rung. The second dinner bell, indicating guides and other employees were allowed to get served, was rung about 10min later – if you were late, the food might run out! And there was ZERO variety. Are you even allowed to call it a “buffet” when there is only one entrée option? Oh, and they charged extra for soda.

But you want to know what *really* got us pissed off? If you look up Refugio Amazonas on TripAdvisor, they have 5 stars and over 500 “Excellent” reviews. We started reading though them and started to get really suspicious. Most of the reviewers only had one review attributed to their profile. Many of the reviews were overly detailed on the lodge’s amenities and seemed very canned…could they be ghostwritten? Several review specifically said that the food was, “delicious,” “excellent,” and even “the best we had during our entire trip to Peru.” We did a little Googling and found that many companies will post adds on freelancer websites, paying USD $0.05 per TripAdvisor review. Could Refugio Amazonas have undertaken such a duplicitous business practice? Hmmm…

 

Cafeteria-style food at our “luxury” lodge

 

NOT the best food we’ve had in Peru

Day 348: The Amazon – Puerto Maldonado Day 1

The final section of our year-long adventure would be spent in two parts of the Peruvian Amazon jungle. Sure, it’s hot and full of nasty bugs, but we figured it would be good to end the trip in a really harsh environment: that way we would *want* to go home!

The first section of the Amazon we visited was in the south of Peru, accessed via the town of Puerto Maldonado. This area is particularly famous for the clay licks which attract hundreds of macaws and parakeets, which is the main reason we decided to make the trip. We had purchased our plane tickets from a local travel agency in Cusco the week before, using cash. The agent promised to email us with our boarding passes the night before (he didn’t), so the real moment of truth was when we arrived at the airport – would the ticket counter have our reservation? Score one point for Peru – our reservation was valid! Looks like we were flying to the jungle today!

 

We are relieved when our cash-purchase airline reservations with Star Peru are valid! We check in and hang out in the Lima VIP lounge until boarding

 

Our airplane to Puerto Maldonado is a small, British Aerospace “Whisperjet” – these little guys are no longer in production

 

Safe, on-time flight to Puerto Maldonado vai Star Peru

The main attraction for our trip to Puerto Maldonado was to see the Tambopata Clay Lick – it’s one of the biggest, most popular and easily accessible macaw clay licks in the jungle. Even so, it requires a 3hr. boat ride from the nearest eco-lodge, which is itself a 3hr. boat ride from the nearest village, and *that* is still an hour away from Puerto Maldonado! We had booked a 3-night stay at one of the “luxury” eco-lodges, Refugio Amazonas, in a pitiful attempt to mitigate the harsh rainforest environment.

The beginning of the trip started well enough: each guest reservation included your own personal guide who met us at the airport. Since the lodge was so remote and only accessible via long boats, the lodge made a stop at their in-town offices before heading to the river, asking guests to leave behind any large bags they have with them – bringing only the essentials needed for a 2-3 night stay. The minibus was air-conditioned and comfortable, we were served some delicious snacks (including sugared Brazil nuts – a local specialty), and the guides spent the majority of the drive pointing out interesting things out the windows. When we got to the river dock, we boarded a longboat (which thankfully had a roof for shade) and headed up stream while our guides served us lunch in banana leaves.

 

After a quick stop to drop off large luggage at the hotel’s office in town, we have a 1hr. transfer to the dock. The minibus is air-conditioned and we each get a basket of snacks, so the transfer is pretty pleasant

 

Small boat dock in the riverside village of Infierno (we expect the name is due to the fact that it is “hot as hell” here!)

 

Igor dons his lifejacket as our boat takes off up river

 

Jungle lunch served onboard the boat

 

It’s a 2.5hr boat ride up river to reach the jungle lodge

 

Butterflies on small clay licks

Our guide spots a family of Capybara on the riverbank (the largest rodent in the world – looks like a super-sized guinea pig)

The lodge itself, unfortunately, fell short of expectations. Sure, it had nice interior decorating and they gave us a tasty welcome drink (non-alcoholic), but there were no fans in the common areas, nor in the bed rooms (you have to pay an extra USD $100/night for fans which only worked until 10PM when the generators were turned off for the night). The entire lodge has a “no-shoes inside” policy, in an effort to keep the shiny wooden floorboards clean. However, we soon discovered that the un-sheltered boardwalks connecting the rooms to the lodge would get very slippery when it rained.

The room itself was a disaster. We knew from the get-go that it was an “open-concept” room with no screens and an open wall facing the jungle. It was advertised as “bringing you close to nature” so you could enjoy the “sounds of the jungle”. We soon found out that the jungle would not be the only thing we would hear. The blocks of rooms were set-up longhouse-style. The walls between each room were little more than a row of bamboo sticks, and the walls did not reach the ceiling. As a result, you can hear *everything* going on in the rooms next to you. Including anything going on in the bathroom. That’s right: luxury resort prices so you can hear a complete stranger take a shit in the middle of the night.

 

When we finally reach the end of the boat ride, we still have a steep staircase to climb and a 10min walk through the forest until we reach the lodge. We’re carrying our own luggage, and it’s really hot, so it’s not a pleasant walk

 

Refugio Amazons – our first jungle lodge in the Amazon Rainforest

 

Our “open concept” room with a screen-less open wall facing the jungle, and open rafters giving us little privacy from our neighbors

 

With no screens and no fans in the rooms and public areas, bug spray is MUST.

The lodge may have been disappointing, but at least our guide, Timoteo, was good. After we checked in, we met up with Timoteo to plan out our excursions for the next 2 days (the lodge had an à la carte menu of morning, afternoon and evening activities to choose from). And other than having a cold (which he tried valiantly to hide from us, but we are experts at spotting people with sniffles!), he was great – very knowledgeable (Igor was unable to stump him with questions) and pretty good at spotting wildlife. We booked a night walk after dinner our first night at the lodge, and Timoteo pointed out a freaky spider-scorpion bug and a cute little snake. Just wish we had put on some long-sleeves before walking into the dark jungle – the mosquitos were out in full force and the supposedly 35% DEET we brought was NOT cutting it!

 

Our guide points out a huge bug that looks like a spider-scorpion hybrid, and a teeny, harmless snake

Day 347: Machu Picchu – Day 2

For our second day at Machu Picchu, we had a permit to climb Macchu Picchu Mountain – at 3,060M it is the higher of the two mountains bordering the city complex (Wayna Picchu is smaller at 2,700M). On a clear day it offers a fantastic aerial view of Machu Picchu – supposedly the city is laid out in the shape of a condor, and you can see it better from the mountain.

Too bad we didn’t have a clear day. It was incredibly foggy as we caught the USD $24 tourist bus over to Machu Picchu at 7:30AM. However, we were optimistic. It was pretty cloudy yesterday as well, but it cleared up beautifully by late morning – maybe we would get lucky again. We signed in at the Machu Picchu Mountain registration desk (our allotted time was for 9AM, but the park ranger waved us in at 8AM) and started to climb. Within 15min of our ascent, it started to rain. It rained, and rained, and rained the entire trek up the mountain. Not only were the conditions terrible, but the trail was HARD – the 600+M climb was *all stairs*. Boy, were our calves hurting by the time we reached the top.

 

Igor McGyver’s a rain cover for our camera using a plastic baggie he bought online, 2 hair ties, and LOT of duct tape. It also works as theft deterrent, ’cause honestly, who’d want to steal that piece of shit?

 

Signing in for the Machu Picchu Mountain hike. Lindsay seems unreasonably optimistic despite the foreboding cloud cover

It eventually stopped raining and the clouds *looked* like they would part, but every time a gust of wind would finally move a cloud out of the way, another would float in to block our view of Machu Picchu. We arrived at the mountain peak around 10AM and waited for over an hour for the view to clear. Igor claimed a prime spot at the edge of the lookout and sat poised with his camera, ready to strike the moment the ruins were visible. Since there were so many other tourists waiting for a shot, Lindsay stood off to the side, alternately staring blankly into the whiteness and shaking rain drops off her poncho. Around 11:30AM, we finally decide to call it quits. The park closes the Machu Picchu peak at noon, and we didn’t want to wait around and have to hike down with the entire crowd of tourists. We took a bet that it wouldn’t clear up in the next 30min (it didn’t).

 

At the peak of Machu Picchu Mountain. The view is fucking covered in clouds. WHY DID I PAY TO COME UP HERE?

 

We wait around at the top of the mountain for over an hour, hoping the clouds will clear. See the middle picture where Lindsay is just staring at her feet? She literally stood like that all alone for about 40min.

 

Even though the clouds were moving with the wind, another cloud would immediately blow in to block our view. This is the *best* picture we got of Machu Picchu from the mountain summit

 

Heading back down the mountain, we kinda get a view of Machu Picchu underneath the clouds

 

Hiking down a bazillion stone steps

 

More nature photography: flowers (no moss)

We reached the complex exit around 12:30PM. Our train to Ollantaytambo wasn’t until 4PM, so we had plenty of time to kill. Since we weren’t in a hurry, we decided to save a little money on the bus fare into town and take the hiking trail down instead. It was a good 50min walk, cutting through the forest, to reach the Urubamba River, then another 20min walking along the road (we had to keep an eye out for buses as they seemed to enjoying speeding through puddles and splashing us!). Once we reached our hotel, we collected our baggage from the front desk and sat in the lobby using their free Wifi for about 2hr until it was time to head over to the train station.

 

We forego the USD $24pp bus tickets and take the hour-long walking trail down to Aguas Calientes

 

The riverside town of Aguas Calientes

The tourist train from Machu Picchu used to run all the way to Cusco, however nowadays it is under new management (owned by a Chilean company – the Peruvians must hate that!) and the line only goes to Ollantaytambo – the town in the Sacred Valley where we stopped for food supplies the first day of our trek. From there, Alpaca Expeditions had arranged for a private car to come pick us up.

The train ride itself was not as enjoyable as we had expected. The train is supposed to be a scenic ride through the Sacred Valley – the cars themselves were Vistadomes, with large windows on the sides and skylights on the roof. We had a great view – no complaints there. What kinds sucked was that the seats are all around 4-top tables, so we were facing a pair of strangers the whole ride. Most people would just roll with it and make conversation with their fellow travelers, but we were so tired, the last thing we wanted was to make chit chat for 2hrs. so we just sat in polite silence with the couple across from us.

The train “flight attendants” (what is their official title?) served us a free beverage and snack at the beginning of the journey, and then tried to entertain us. First, a scary-looking mascot came out and selected passengers to get up and dance with him (luckily for Lindsay the woman sitting across from her took a bullet for the team and got up and danced, sparing Lindsay the terror of one-on-one interaction with a mascot); the second diversion was a “fashion show” where the male and female train attendants modeled a variety of alpaca-wool sweaters, dresses and other accessories (conveniently for sale on board!).

While the views out the window of the train were very pretty, by the end of the ride we were very thankful that we only had to ride the thing once.

 

Boarding our 4PM train to Ollantaytambo

 

Drink and beverage service – fancy tourist train!

 

Lindsay is totally freaked out by the scary rainbow-demon mascot

 

The train service attendants give us an alpaca fashion show

 

Igor gazing out the window of our Vistadome train

 

Mountain scenery outside our train window

 

Leaving Machu Picchu and the Sacred Valley behind

Day 346: Machu Picchu – Day 1

We woke up at 4AM in order to get to the final check point as early as possible. Even though it doesn’t open until 5:30AM, our guide Joyce said we should try to be first in line – not only will we get the trail to ourselves after it opens, but then we can wait in the sheltered area outside the gate. We got up, grabbed our packed breakfasts and prepared ourselves for a hike in dark. Unfortunately, we forgot to charge our headlamp batteries, so our only flashlight was the app on Igor’s cellphone. Even so, we were making great time!

All of a sudden, we ran into a long line of 50+ trekkers sitting on the ground. Wait, we’re here already? We barely left the camp site! For some reason, Joyce made it sound like the check point was far away when in reality it was just outside the campground. As a result, plenty of other groups got in line before us – definitely not going to be first today. For the next hour and a half, we sat in the dark, nibbling our breakfasts, waiting for the stupid gate to open. Of course, once it did, we found ourselves stuck behind dozens of slow trekkers on the trail and we had difficulty passing them as the trail was so narrow. Definitely the most frustrating section of the Inca trail for us. Fortunately, it wasn’t for long – both the “Gringo Killer” staircase and photo ops at the Sun Gate dispersed the crowds and the rest of the hike to Machu Picchu was a breeze.

 

100s of tourists waiting in the dark for the final checkpoint of the Inca Trail to open at 5:30AM. Ridiculous.

 

There’s a bottleneck of trekkers as we hike the final hour-long stretch to the Sun Gate. It’s a bit cloudy, but at least it’s not raining!

Rounding the final corner of the trail. Not pictured here is the “Gringo Killer” – a ridiculously steep staircase with 100+ narrow steps. We were so anixious to bypass all the slower trekker that we took the opportunity to rush past as many people as possible. As a result, we were 2/3 of the way up the stair before we realized how high and difficult it was. But getting ahead of the crowd was motivating enough to keep us going!

Our first view of Machu Picchu – seen from the Sun Gate at the end of the Classic Inca Trail. WE MADE IT!

 

Triumphant trekkers at the Machu Picchu Sun Gate

Even though the Inca Trail leads directly into Machu Picchu, we had to exit the complex and reenter with our official ticket. Also, there are no bathrooms in Macchu Picchu so if you need to pee, you have to leave and wait in line to get back in again. I wanna spare you guys the gruesome details, but let’s just say that after 3 days with nothing but a chemical toilet (which the poor chaskis had to carry!), we were more than happy to exit Machu Picchu and pay 1 sole to sit on a clean, flush toliet and do our business! Touring the ruins was our second priority of the morning!

Once we were back inside Machu Picchu, Joyce took us on a tour through the ancient city, pointing out the intricate architecture, the various temples, palaces and religious altars. Machu Picchu is actually not that old – it was constructed in the mid-1400s at the height of the Incan Empire. It was never the capital of the empire (that was Cusco) – it’s main claim to fame is the exceptional quality of the architecture. The Incas were at the height of both their political power and at the height of their artist craft, so the city was beautifully planned and constructed. When the Spaniards arrived, they destroyed most of the Incans buildings they could find, but they never knew Machu Picchu existed (there are some theories that the city’s population was already wiped out by a smallpox epidemic before Fransico Pizarro ever arrived in Peru). As a result, Machu Picchu remained protected from vandals and looting. It was “discovered” in 1911 by Harim Bingham, a researcher at Yale, who was actually looking for a different set of ruins.

Afterward touring the city for about 2hrs, Joyce left us to explore on our own for the rest of the morning. We agreed to take the bus down to Aguas Calientes by noon and meet up with him for lunch in town.

 

We can just make out the town of Aguas Calientes in the valley below as we descend into Mahu Picchu. It has just opened, and already the first viewing platform is overrun with tourists. Our guide has to ask another group repeatedly to move aside so we could get our selfie in front of the ancient city

MACHU PICCHU

 

We have to exit the complex and reenter with our official tickets

 

A handful of the side buildings have thatched roofs, recreating what the city would have looked like in the days of the Incan Empire

 

The city was constructed using a polished, dry-stone technique, where the stones fit together with grooves instead of using mortar

 

Breathtaking views of the mountains, as seen through the alleyways of the city

 

CHINCHILLA! We find this cute little guy sunbathing in the royal palace

 

Channels of fountains carved into the rocks, and a recreation of the thatched roofs

 

As we tour the city, the sun comes out giving us beautiful light for photographing the ruins

 

Flowers and ornamental plants in one of the gardens in Machu Picchu

 

The Temple of the Sun and the sinking wall of one of the upper temples

 

The Funerary Stone (probably for llama sacrifices) and the Temple of the Condor (which also has a sacrifical stone)

 

One of the windows in the Room of Three Windows (the other two look the same), and a rock carving said to mirror the mountain ridge (we can’t confirm, as the mountain was covered in clouds)

 

The Inti Wantana Stone (said to be a religious sundial for worshiping the Sun God), and a water mirror (for putting on make-up? I dunno.)

Sunny day in Machu Picchu

 

Signing in for the (permitless) walk to the Inca Bridge – a pitiful plank of wood connecting a narrow path along a sheer cliff

 

We run into oncoming llama traffic on our way down the trail – apparently llamas have right of way in Machu Picchu!

 

Harassing the adorable baby llama

 

Llamas getting’ their groove on at Machu Picchu

 

Final selfie at Machu Picchu

 

We meet up with Joyce at a restaurant in Aguas Calientes for a farewell lunch. We enjoy some street music, along with a naked dog (still cute)

Even though we had perfect sunny weather while we were running around Machu Picchu, it started to rain during lunch. Perfect timing as far as we were concerned! After bidding farewell to Joyce, we checked into our hotel and took some MUCH NEEDED showers. There was a lavadería down the block from our hotel, so we had our stink clothes washed while we hung out in the dry, air-conditioned room. We had a great glamping trip, but boy are we glad in be a room with walls again!

 

Checking in to our hotel in Aguas Calientes where Lindsay surveys all the snacks she’s “squirreled” away during the trek

Day 345: Inca Trail Trek – Day 3

Rain. That pretty much seems up our hike today. Well, we knew we were visiting Peru in the wet season – this was actually what we expected the entire trek to be like. Luckily, today we only had a half-day of hiking scheduled, and most of it was flat. We passed a couple of ruins along the way. It was raining too hard for us to bother taking out the camera at the first Inca site – Phuyupatamarca. The second site, Intipata, was merely foggy, so we were able to explore a bit more before walking the remaining 15min to our campground.

 

Passing through a “tunnel” on the trail

 

Nonstop rain and heavy clouds obscure our view of the ruins at Phuyupatamarca – “The City Above the Clouds” (not today)

 

Miserable hiking in the rain. So much wet.

 

Foggy conditions at the ruins of Intipata

 

Lindsay can barely make out the Urubamba River in the valley

 

Waterlogged llamas and two wet couple of boots at the Intipata ruins

 

We continue 15 more minutes to our final campsite of the trek. Lindsay is fed up with the rain and hides in the tent after lunch

During our trek with Alpaca Expeditions, we learned that different trekking agencies have slightly different itineraries for the Classic Inca Trail. Alpaca likes to start hard and finish easy, while other companies space out the difficult days (especially the two mountain passes that we did the day before). We discovered that one of the really great benefits of Alpaca’s itinerary is that we got an entire afternoon at leisure in the last campground.

Why would you want so much time here? Well, there are 2 large Inca cities (Intipata and Wiñaywayna) which were a mere 10-15min walk before and after the campground. And, unlike Michu Picchu (which we would discover tomorrow is crowded with tourists from open to close), these ruins are nearly deserted. Sure, there are several dozen fellow trekkers at the campground, but when you have all afternoon, you are not all going to be at the ruins at the same time. When Igor backtracked to Intipata after lunch, he was *literally* the only person there (our guide didn’t even bother to go with him!), and when we visited Wiñaywayna around sunset, we ran into 4 other tourists who were just leaving. If you want your magical moment, wandering around ancient ruins and pretending to be Indiana Jones, you gotta do the Inca Trail, and you gotta pick your agency wisely. We noticed many other groups (G Adventures in particular) were still arriving at the campgrounds between 6-7PM. By the time they arrived, it was too dark to visit the ruins, and since they would be leaving for the Sun gate at dawn with the rest of us, they would completely miss out!

 

Igor returns to admire the terraces of Intipata and finds blue sky and sunshine starting to appear

The terraces of Intipata abutting a steep cliff along the Classic Inca Trail

 

Exploring the stone steps of the Intipata ruins

 

Igor has the entire complex and all the llamas to himself!

Final view of Intipata

 

More of Igor’s nature photography: flowers and moss

 

Lindsay joins Igor to visit the ruins of Wiñaywayna – the “Forever Young” City where nobles would stay during the ancient days of the Incan Empire

Terraces of Wiñaywayna, and the Urubamba Valley below

 

The Wiñaywayna complex has a canal and fountain system that flows fresh water through the city

 

Lindsay admires the view of the ruins

 

Majestic Andean peaks create a beautiful backdrop for the ruins

 

Exploring the double gateways into the city

A waxing moon sits high in the sky as we take in the breathtaking view of the Andes Mountains

We had our final sit-down meal of the trek tonight, as we would make better time with a packed breakfast for our 4AM start tomorrow. We also said farewell and gave tips to our team of chaskis and our chef, as they would be exiting the trail via a different route going straight to Aguas Calientes to catch the early local train home. It’s been a great trek, guys – we wouldn’t be surprised to find out we’d gained some pounds instead of losing them these past few days. Thanks for taking such good care of us!

 

Back in camp, half the trekkers are on the roof of the ranger station, trying to get a cell signal. We can’t get any data, so we return to our site to wash up for dinner

 

PIZZA AND CAKE. My camping standards have officially been ruined

Our fantastic team of chaskis and our brilliant chef – thank you for an AMAZING trek!

Day 344: Inca Trail Trek – Day 2

The second day of the Inca Trail seriously kicked Lindsay’s butt. It was a loooong day with a lot of climbing, but we actually made really good time! The dreaded Dead Woman’s Pass wasn’t as bad as we thought it would be. The ascent was tough – don’t get me wrong – it was 900M straight up, but we were able to complete the estimated 6hr. hike to the lunch break spot in only 4hr! Fuck, yeah! 30-somethings blazing the trail!

 

Early morning cloud cover over the Dead Woman’s Pass – we get a 7AM start on the steep climb up the mountain staircase

 

The second half of the ascent was easy in comparison to the staircase – a gentle incline up to the peak

 

Made to the top of Dead Woman’s Pass! One down, one more to go!

 

We get a glimpse of some Andean mountain peaks as thick clouds pass through the sky

 

Making our way down into the valley

 

Igor’s nature photography: moss and flowers

 

We arrive at the Pacaymayu campground at 11AM, where our chef is hard at work making lunch in the mess tent

 

Relaxing on our mats as we wait for another decadent lunch – chicken wontons, YUM!

The only downside to having such a fantastic chef on board our trek is that it’s hard to portion control when the food is so tasty! We ended up eating more heavily than we normally would during lunch, which made for very full bellies. Lindsay in particular found the second mountain pass to be more difficult (where it was from being tired, or from having a food-baby it’s hard to say), and ended up sitting out most of the ruins we passed along the trail. But at the end of the day, we were both feeling healthy and very satisfied with our progress on the trail.

 

We stop at the small, Runkuracay ruins on our way up the second pass

 

Lindsay finds hiking after lunch to be much more difficult and takes a break at the ruins. However, it’s soon crawling with other tourists, so we pick up and head on

Misty mountains in the Peruvian Andes

 

Lindsay is EXHAUSTED when she finally makes it up to the second pass. Igor, on the other hand, is feeling just dandy and runs around like a mountain goat, taking pictures from an even *higher* lookout

 

Lindsay needs a moment to recuperate before descending into the next valley

 

The hardest part is now over – no threat of turning back now!

 

The rain has stopped and it’s getting a bit toasty. Igor contemplates jumping into a small pond by the side of the trail. Or at least washing his smelly clothes…

 

The Sayacmarka ruins – a pretty big complex about 20min away from our campsite. Lindsay is just too tired to explore with Igor, so she just sits while he runs around taking pictures

 

Igor gets a small break in the clouds at the Sayacmarka ruins

 

Within minutes, the mist rolls in and covers the viewpoint in a cloud of white

 

Our campground in the distance – when we arrive, our tent is already set up

 

Lindsay takes a nap until teatime – of course she would wake up in time for food! Seriously, this chef and his fruit tart are taking glamping standards to a whole new level!

Day 342: Inca Trail Trek – Day 1

We booked our Inca Trail trek with Alpaca Expeditions – one of the mostly highly rated agencies on TripAdvisor with a solid reputation for professionalism, ethical employment of porters (called “chaskis” in the native Quechua), and best of all for having delicious food! Our guide, Joyce, picked us up at our hotel at 4:30AM for the 2hr transfer to Ollantaytambo (to pick up supplies), then another 1hr drive to the trailhead at the KM 82 mark. Our journey over the next 4 days would take us 27KM down the “Royal Route” AKA “Pilgrimage Trail” to Machu Picchu. (There is also a 2D/1N trail along the river which was the ancient “Commercial Route” between Cusco at Machu Picchu. Shorter and easier – where’s the fun in that?)

 

We arrive in Ollantaytambo around 6AM – Lindsay is so bleary eyed she can barely appreciate the mountain-top ruins peeking out of the mist

 

Local market is already in full swing selling various foodstuffs: bread and cheese…

 

…fresh chicken and meats…

 

…and a variety of local vegetables from the farms of the Sacred Valley

 

Walking around the Plaza de Armas of Ollantaytambo, where Disney Pixar may have a copyright lawsuit on their hands…

 

A misty morning in Ollantaytambo. As we wait for our team of chaskis to assemble, we make friends with yet another street dog.

 

Warm water for washing and a delicious breakfast spread are set up for us at the trailhead

Every year the Inca Trail is closed to trekkers during the month of February. The government is very strict with conservation regulations in order to protect the trail (no wonder – it’s one of their biggest tourism draws!), and they use the off month to perform maintenance and clean up. It’s also the wettest month of the year, so closing the trail helps to prevent rapid erosion. Since we were starting our trek the first week the trail was reopened, it was fresh and clean, but also very, very wet. We had our fair share of hiking in the rain (even with “rainproof” pants, mended boots and ponchos, we still got drenched and miserable), but most days the weather cleared up for a few hours of sunshine. We were expecting worse conditions in the rainy season, so we were pleasantly surprised.

 

Starting the Inca Trail at the KM 82 trailhead

 

Crossing the Urubamba River (AKA Chocolate River – due to the heavy silt deposits) after the first checkpoint

 

During our first snack break, our guide points out a plant with white flowers called Brugmansia, or “Angel’s Trumpets”. When brewed into a tea, it produces hallucinogenic effects – used by the Incan shaman for religious purposes. (No, we didn’t try any.)

 

Mist and rain on the trail forces all trekkers to break out our neon-colored rain ponchos. Looking ahead we can see a line of green and blue – it’s an army of chaskis walking down the trail!

 

Stopping at the guardhouse of our first Incan ruins: Wayllabamba

Thanks to being active all year and in good trekking shape after the Everest Base Camp Trail, we were *killing it* on the Inca Trail. We were a good hour ahead of the other trekking groups (granted, a small private group is always going to go faster than a large group of a dozen or so tourists), and we felt great at the end of the day. Which was very promising, as today was considered the “training day” – we had hiked for about 6hrs and had a mild ~600M ascent. Tomorrow would be the real challenge: two mountain passes, including the infamous Dead Woman’s Pass which would peak at 4,200M – the highest point on the trail. We headed straight to bed after our enormous dinner around 8:30PM – gotta preserve our strength!

 

While sitting around and waiting for our lunch, a pair of kittens randomly decide to crawl into Lindsay’s lap. (No pussy-grabbing jokes, please.)

 

OMG – a stuffed avocado is our *appetizer* during our ridiculously large and delicious lunch spread. Rice, salad, corn, trout, potatoes and garlic bread – how are we going to hike after eating all of this?!?

 

Relaxing after lunch in the sunshine on our matress pads, sipping cups of coca tea and trying to digest a mountain of food

 

Locals carving a llama onto their wall, and a cute little piggy walking near the trail

 

A dry and sunny trail for the rest of the afternoon. It was starting to get pretty hot, but luckily most of the rest of the trail was in the shade

 

Stopping at the second checkpoint – this one is for porters, to make sure they are not carrying more than the 20KG limit

 

Our first glimpse of Dead Woman’s Pass – eeekkk!

 

We arrive at camp along with our porters around 4PM – we try to stay out of their way as they set up our tent for us

 

Our chef prepared another fabulous feast for dinner and surprised us with banana flambé for dessert! Fancy!